Currently Traveler see related

let's update

so... no entry since end of march huh. i've finally realized that when i don't update, it means that life is actually slipping through incredibly fast before my eyes rather than being slow and dull and eventless.

in any case

i would like to write about everything and anything i have to say upto this point but i have to get to work by 9 tomorrow morning and i have to get ready for that tonight so......

(oh i work at treehouse now, just some tutoring and TA and such. it's going okay, just started last week. i'll add on this as i go)

let's take it slow

lalalala

life goes on

:')

Situations don't turn out favorably, but life has been somewhat enjoyable for the past few weeks.

I really thought there was something there. But I guess feelings are fleeting. Too much so...

I guess I learned another lesson. Shouldn't have given that person so much power over my feelings. Doesn't affect me too much now though I guess. Maybe my reaction is just self-preservation? haha.

I am an awkward and weak and frightened person. I can't even do this right. I have no motivation to clear anything up.

But jeez, seriously. Does he hate me now or something? I wonder what happened.

oh well... anyway.

Like I said, life has been pretty good. I guess only in terms of mood though. It's kind of a calm feeling. Calm before the storm. Next few weeks will be torturous like hell. I've started checking the mail everyday. Here we go again.

Some things really bother me and piss me off everyday, but I'm trying to not let it get to me. I'm gonna enjoy these last few months aight

Other random things currently happening:

I've been inspired for a lot of random crap in art!!! It's exciting. Gotta get a lot done before IB testing. Ahh exciting. gotta collect toilet paper rolls too

I started practicing to drive -_- barely passed written test, and driving test is in 2 weeks, it's definitely not happening

I am constantly attached to my ipod for hours again. It's nice just being able to have the freedom to enjoy music again. Thanks to new music and stuff etc. It's nice~~ makes me happy~~

Convention season is coming up!!! Key Club Dcon end of March (which I'm actually really excited for now, gotta represent!), Emerald City Comic Con (which I'll be going to even if I must do so by myself, gotta meet DKK once and for all. Nobody I know is nerdy enough to come to a comic book convention with me -_-) first weekend of April, then Sakura-con the week after that. I don't know man I have a feeling this might be my last spring in WA for a while so I want to check it out again okay don't judge me. lol

Wanna start practicing the guitar again. I actually want to seriously (but not seriously seriously) write music now :<

Lots of ideas and stuff for everything nowadays. I've been inspired (but by what i dunno)! It's a creative time for me so I'm definitely gonna take advantage of it

and ignore hw and grades

:)

to tell you the honest truth i don't think i'm gonna get into cornell. it's nice thinking about it really happening though

I've gotta spill the beans. It is driving me nuts!

Actually I don't want to really spill it until anything further happens. Though I doubt anything ever will. =_=

Arggghhh!!!

I can't believe I'm this obssessed. I'd never admit it. I guess I just did though.

First I was just excited because I met somebody that I've always dreamed of meeting? Even if the similarities are just in the things that we're into. Are we compatible? I don't f-ing know. Would I like to know? Yes. :<

Maybe I just needed a distraction. And he happened to be there.

wow, good going jieun.

Anyway, he gives me something to look forward to every day.

:) I want to know him more.

BUTTERFLIES AHHHHH

When I'm up at 3 and thinking, lots of things flash through my head and when I try to make sense out of it the next day, it doesn't work very well

You know how sometimes you just wish your life was a movie that's in the perfect balance of comedy, romance and drama and you could make it crazy, make whatever you want out of it and trust that the consequences will be minimal but life would be so much more fulfilling and exciting and worthwhile that way... just like, gamble it all on a certain stranger or take that risk you know you should never ever like reaching up to that somebody and just ksis them or swing a baseball at the head of some other person and etc...

I realized that ending up at UW is probably my biggest fear right now, because it is so ridiculously possible but all powers within my control are trying to prevent that from happening.

Well actually my biggest fear ends up leading down to ending up there. My biggest fear is not growing up. Yes it is a common subject at the mo, since it's a pretty big transition time. Some people fear having to grow up and some people want to be adults as fast as they can. But me...? I just wonder at what point I'll stop wishing that I had all the time in the entire world to play every single RPG game ever created and you get the point... It's not just a mental state of maturity, but I guess I just don't want to be here stuck and living the same way I have been for the last 4 years. Psh and it's not even like I'm making an effort to do anything. I'm in no way the kind of person to make small but steady changes and initiatives in life to really make some difference. All I want to do right now is to throw myself in some crazy new life and see if maybe I can really get out. What doesn't break me makes me stronger, right...? Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually... it's time to grow up

Oh, and how this even ties into uw at all... I don't even remember.

Anyway, random: I'm hooked on Law and Order marathons (as well as The Office), and watched an episode of Criminal Intent today with Nicole Wallace in it. And wow, that was probably the hottest episode of L&O: CI I've ever seen. I didn't even know it was possible to put "hot" and "Goren" together. Bobby and Nicole forevah! (Screw SVU, man)

Ugh I have to be up in 4 hours, and I still have crap to take care of before I sleep. 'Nother interview tomorrow. Jeezus, when will it end...

And it's funny, because I was thinking today of the things I would say to the interviewer. It's like talking to myself and just forcefully thinking about things that could possibly be discussed. And I wish there was a tape recorder or something in my mind because I swear, everything in the world I wish I could articulate just flows out so naturally but when I actually sit there, hiding behind my pretend nervousness, I open my mouth and it just goes blank from there.

I will clarify my thoughts later.