| i realized that the only time i talk about guys at all is on xanga. if someone only knew me through xanga they must think that i have a one track mind.
THE TRUTH IS, i actually have a two track mind. boys and food. however, i like, (almost) never talk about guys with people. (그렇지만 한번 터지면 끝이없음.) i play it all cool like i have no interest in guys and stuff like the average girl. almost like it would make a lot of sense if i was into girls instead. however every once in a while i just need to let out some feelings and so i post some ambiguous stuff on xanga. yup
so anyway the point is, i would like to meet a nice christian korean american boy from california and forget about anything even remotely north of here (namely washington). actually the problem is that i've met quite a few already, but uhrr yeah.
it's not that bad though. i'm quite willing to do 대표 stuff for kccc and forget about dating for the next 3-4 years. it's just today when i was around -certain- people that i thought, hmm it would be fun to be able to be with -these guys- and spend time with them more often. 우리 너무 잘 클릭하는거 아니야? 이러면 안되는뎅.
맨날 하루하루 이렇게 고민스럽게 사는 내가 한심하다
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| exactly what and how much am i willing to sacrifice?
those goals and dreams that i have right now, how much do i really want them?
of course i can be happy in other ways, but it's not just about me either
지금 제일 중요한것은 부모님을 위해서 뭔가를 열심이해서 돈을 벌고싶지만...
아 휴 모르겠다
그 한 사람의 말만 듣고, 믿고, 이렇게 와서
아무 생각없이 이 학교에, 이 정공에 들어왔지만
이렇게 고민해본적은 처음이네. 참.
practicality
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| after being confused about my major and having a good talk with others in the car after gethsemane about how i should go about balancing my time between school and committing fully to kccc to give God everything i have when business majors are pressured to be busy with internships and other activities, i fell asleep while praying that God will show me and lead me to the path that he wants me to be on.
i dreamed that i changed my major to industrial engineering.
-_-;;;
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| 흔들리면 안돼!
언제나 꿈을 가슴에 두고 해어나가야돼!
왜이렇게힘들까.
내 마음이 흔들리는거 만큼 그들의 마음을 이렇게 만들수있다면.
차라리 그게...
ahh econ midterm tomorrow. i'm so sleepy though. maybe i should go take a walk
daydreamin'
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| how much i love you ?!
그럼 내 문자 씹지마 ㅆㅂ
some friends and i talked about boys and general such things of such group activities for quite a few many hours today. i try not to contribute to such conversation because i don't like to jinx myself about anything. so i don't like making comments about any guys' appearance or personality unless i am extremely close and familiar with both the girls and the boys. anyways, guess who i was thinking about the whole time???
is it really is it really is it really
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